My Dating History

I believed love should be about how much I could give.

​​Even as early as 12 years old, I had a natural pull toward understanding human relationships. I devoured self-help books and unknowingly stepped into the role of coach for my friends—offering advice about crushes, holding space for family problems, and helping them make sense of their inner worlds.

People praised me for being a good listener, a wise friend, someone mature beyond her years. And slowly, I internalized this: my value only comes from what I can give. Their needs come first. If I stopped being useful to them, I’d be forgotten and unloved.

That belief followed me into dating. I thought if I just gave enough, proved enough, loved enough—then it would be enough.

A classmate took this photo in our college library, teasing me for reading an old book on dating not required in class (2018)

Three succeeding heartbreaks made me decide to be logical and strategic about love.

At 19, those heartbreaks made me more curious about human relationships. I was emotional and idealistic, but it wasn’t getting me anywhere—so I turned to science. I pursued a highly specialized degree in Family and Child Development in the country, thinking it would prepare me to be a good wife and mother someday. What really fascinated me were the topics: intimacy, marriage, and affairs.

Even after class, I found myself reading more, reflecting more, and diving deep into self-study.

But my curiosity turned into obsession. I started analyzing myself and others and every date like a case study. I buried myself in theories, psychology books, and workshops—hoping that if I understood everything, I’d finally feel safe in love. Instead, I became guarded. I relied on compatibility checklists and rejected people before they got too close. I thought I was being smart—but really, I was afraid of being hurt again. Knowledge became my armor, and I confused protection with security in love.

I landed somewhere I’d never been before: balance between emotion and logic.

My turning point

After years of dating from extremes—either too emotional or too analytical—I was introduced to a mindfulness-based cognitive group therapy program. I joined out of curiosity from the psychology standpoint.

As it turned out, everything shifted within me. I enjoyed every date encounter even when I got stood up. I released my rigid expectations on myself and others. I stayed present, open, and grounded—trusting that what’s meant for me will come without force.

Dating became an experience, not only a prerequisite to marriage and family. Each interaction became a chance to practice emotional honesty, boundary-setting, and presence. I realized that intuition and knowledge are important in building relationships.

Dating as a social transformation

When I started working in nonprofit organizations for hundreds of Filipino families, I witnessed that children are happier when their parents are able to express their own emotions and set boundaries. Even when money is tight, communicative parents continue to build a home where children can live their best selves.

However, the majority is far from reality. A simple observation in our own family, friends, neighborhood, and social media would tell you stories on perceived “broken” family, marriage betrayal, and domestic problems. It is also common for children to step on the role as parents, whether emotionally and/or financially, posing risks to their overall wellbeing.

I realized that dating is a very important life stage. If adults are expected to lead families, we need to support their relationship skills. This may prevent many problems later in marriage and parenting. Personally, being intentional with dating helped me grow and show up better in my relationships, especially with my fiancé. My vision of family is still evolving, and it is empowering to be informed about my version of marriage and parenthood.

My offering

Dating Forward reimagines dating as a space for personal and collective healing blending Western individualism with Filipino relational values like kapwa (shared self). It encourages mindful connections where “self” and “others” coexist in harmony. Even when dating preferences diverge from tradition, it upholds pakikitungo (mutual respect) to navigate differences gracefully.

Through coaching + energy healing, Dating Forward helps singles move from confusion to clarity. It does not guarantee “getting the man or woman” or “securing the relationship.” The focus is alignment and empowerment with your dating choices.

Because true connection begins with self-honesty: the foundation for love that extends beyond the self, shaping future families and communities..

And now, I invite you to be part of this social transformation.

Dating Forward is a safe space to explore love that's aligned to your authentic self.